2014.08.15 What a penguin wants
Not just any type of fish,
but one that is just big enough to fit
and slide down the throat without
having to work the up the gag reflex—
don’t remember what they’re called, but,
honestly, any fish is fine if you chop them
small enough, thin enough, short enough…
I’m hungry enough to not care.
Not just any type of home,
but one that is just large enough for me
and my family to slide about without
having to worry about too many predators,
too little food, and too much care—
you know, the place called zoo where we swim
about and have pictures taken, pointed at, but,
honestly, maybe any place well do so long it is
warm enough, free enough, bright enough…
I’m lonely enough as it is.
Not just any other friend,
but the companion who can stay with you
talk to you, laugh with you, smile with you,
live with you, grow with you, age with you.
Trust you. Trust me with the young. Trust
me with tomorrow, the day after, and the day
after, even if there is no more home, or no
more food. Because we can start over.
We can creat all of that together.
Since we are both hungry enough and lonely enough.
Let’s go home together.
Two islands twelve hours apart,
the sun never sees them once
together, nor does the moon.
Neither can any part of the universe
for that matter.
Except you—you who hold my heart,
fill my mind, and sing my tune—
they were one mass land once,
You say. I reply, they still are.
2014.08.04 Me Too
Seeing him and her,
looking at him and her,
a serenity that unfolds.
His eyes stare into their future
Her eyes stare back in nods—
An understanding beyond encryption,
we can only feel from
the way they smile,
sweat is no big deal.
Seeing him and her,
looking at each other,
I believe in myself:
I can do it too, I can do it too.
How I want to,
Slow down. Take my time
And learn how to dance with you.
Each step, each posture, each movement,
Each reaction from you.
I want to capture it all,
Replay each and every moment over and over and over,
So that, when I’m old and full of albums
I won’t be wondering where I took those photos and what we were thinking,
And you wouldn’t always be saying, “you were busy.”
The end justifies the means,
but the process need not be hastened,
For you are not my destination,
But my companion,
The one to follow through
—the trophy will not matter,
But who I danced with will.
Words don’t flow so easily to me
anymore, as they used to when
I could feel.
These days I was told to grow up
tuck away that child inside,
and put in serious work.
Something about growing up
meant apathy, complacency,
reality of drudgery
Taking ownership: your actions
finally matter but nobody cares,
Words can’t flow to me so easily
anymore, because they would
make me feel.
I would no longer listen, I would
no longer work, but hope, and
expect unending lives.
That being a kid you somehow
the world will be fair one day,
and we all get fed.
If I just keep writing, if I just keep
feeling, if I just keep going,
it’ll be true.
Choosing peace over war
Choosing security over fantasy
Choosing future over now
Making sacrifices for happiness -
this is growing up.
Happy belated birthday
my happy belated half.
Maybe, I did grow up without real worries
nothing like those in the news because if I can
read it in the news it is not the soap opera
genre I probably grew up in, but neither are
soap operas real, or dramas, or stories,
or re-enactments, recollections, or reminiscences…
All figments of my imagination, my expectation,
my realization, a world that cannot worry,
a world built on smiles and “sorry,”
forgiveness and shared life glory,
hard work does pay, every action gives way:
water doesn’t have to be so scarce.
food doesn’t have to be so rich.
currency doesn’t have to be so tied
to borders it can’t defend or even
represent with any consensual accuracy…
what’s in a name anyway?
what’s in an identity that erodes with time
no matter how much you invest?
Maybe, I did grow up without real worries,
nothing like what you read in today’s news.
But the woes I have, the questions I ask,
Maybe, you’ll read it in class some day..
The way my heart beat
with that shot of adrenaline racing
through my core
stirring emotions in my mind,
I knew, instantaneously,
that I loved her more than anything,
wanted her now more than ever,
needed her here and wherever.
Not fight or flight, but fright,
the fear that in another moment,
a fraction of a degree difference,
and the angle would be too small,
and I would miss the chance,
and waste another heartbeat.